The Star Wars Holiday Special Drinking Game!


(AKA How to make it through without shooting yourself)

The Star Wars Holiday Special. Ah yes, the 70’s, a time when weird was okay and most entertainment was better with a large bottle of 100 proof whiskey on hand. Such is the case with the bane of George Lucas’s existence, the holiday special (even more reason to love it.)

I give you this guide to help you get the most out of (and get through) the strange and bizarre (and slightly erotic) Star Wars Holiday Special.

When you realize that Chewbacca’s father would look like a near toothless Paul Williams after bathing in Anti-Nair, take a shot.

Swan… I mean..Itchy!

When you realize that Mark Hamill has more make up on than Harvey Korman in drag, take two shots.

When Ming the Merciless shows up dressed in a feather boa swinging a very disturbing tail and brings along the bastard offspring of Cirque De Soleil, take two shots.

Ming! Ahhh!! He’ll dance for everyone of us!

You’ve seen Harvey Korman in drag (and he looks more like a woman than Bea Arthur) take a shot and keep repeating to yourself “I’m not blind…I’m not blind.”

Harrison Ford is trying his best with what he’s got to work with, God love him. Take a shot

You just know that’s a bong that Luke and R2 are working on and not an engine part. Take a shot.

Art Carney peddles cyber porn. Take two shots.

Art Carney…the Larry Flynt of a galaxy far, far away

Itchy, Chewie’s horny dad, starts getting off with Diane Carol cyber porn given to him by Art Carney. Swig half the bottle and go take a bath.

Carrie Fisher starts singing and you can tell she’s so stoned she doesn’t even know where she is. Swig the other half of the bottle.

When you realize that Chewie’s wife was actually a man, scream and take three more shots.
Be happy with the knowledge that after you’ve watched the entire thing you’ve taken another year off the life of George Lucas (it’s in his contract with Satan) Smile and open a beer, knowing you took one for the team and for the greater good.

For more of this evil check out the following site.

This is the place I found the great pictures above. Check them out!


Jessica Dwyer

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